


Take me to church

by orphan_account



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-13
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2020-01-12 16:47:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18450623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: What could have happened after 3.05





	1. During A Natural Disaster I Hide Alone

**David**

 

**"Please leave me alone. I’m not into you”**

I stared at the text that I had just typed down and ready to send to Matteo although of course it wasn’t true. Of course I was into him. I was so into him it was killing me inside. I really liked him. One might even say I was falling for the gorgeous blue eyed wonder known as Matteo Florenzi. The way I felt about him was...it was getting dangerous. We were reaching territory I wasn’t sure I was ready to enter yet. I liked him so much that...I wanted to scream it to the entire universe. I wanted to be with him every hour of the day, every minute. I wanted to wake up next to him and lie in bed and sleep next to him. I wanted to meet his mother who he said was pretty complicated, and I wanted to go to Italy with him and meet his father. I wanted him to meet Laura and I wanted them to get along. I wanted him to be the one to go to Detroit with me. I wanted us to be one of those lovesick couples, the cheesy ones you see in the movies. He broke up with Sara because he was into me and that was supposed to make me happy and it did but...also it was killing me it wasn’t even the guilt that was killing me...But...it was the fact that...he was slowly accepting the fact that he might in fact be gay and I...I was so scared he wouldn’t be into me if he knew...knew who I really was. If he knew I hadn’t been born David. If he knew that I had been born in the wrong body. If he knew hadn’t been born male...but female. So scared that he would fly the coop once he knew like most of the people in my life that had once loved me. Hurting him hurt me but I...I wouldn’t be able to handle the pain if he...if he didn’t like me anymore once I told him. During a natural disaster I run and hide...alone. This was me hiding alone. This was my natural disaster. 

Laura went into my room and sighed. “I told him to go away” Laura said smiling at me sadly. I nodded as my fingers hovered over the send button. “Thanks Laura” I said smiling at her sadly. Pressing send and having to watch the two grey checks turn blue hurt me more than I expected it to. I knew that I was probably breaking his heart. But I had to. To protect myself. It was probably selfish but I had been left by too many people in my life and if he left me...I wouldn’t be able to deal with that. I stared at my phone and fought every instinct urging me to send another text telling him that it wasn’t true, that I didn’t mean what I had said and that I loved him and wanted to be with him but...that I was just so scared that he wouldn’t love me once he found out who I was. “You Okay?” Laura asked closing the door behind her. I stared at her for a while before breaking into tears and shaking my head no. Laura ran to me and sat on my bed next to me her arms wrapped around me. We stayed like that for a while. Her arms wrapped around me and me sobbing like an idiot. When I stopped crying I wiped away the tears and entangled myself from Laura’s embrace. “Did he...was he okay? Did he seem angry? Sad?” I asked Laura frowning. “I don’t know him like you do David. He seemed pretty upset though” Laura sighed frowning at me. “Things were moving too quickly but now I think I may have ended things for good” I told Laura frowning. 

“He’ll probably be mad for now” Laura said smiling at me a sad expression on her face “but he’ll understand. He’ll be okay and so will you. I know you’re scared David but not everyone’s mom and dad. I really don’t get why you didn’t just tell him, he seems like a great guy”. She was rightness was a great guy, and it was really unfair of me to think of Matteo getting the hell out of my life like my parents did, it was unfair. But it wasn’t just my parents. It was friends from my old school, past lovers from my old school who flew the coop once they found out about me. And I couldn’t take that risk of adding Matteo to that list of people who flew the coop after finding out about me...it would just break my heart. “I’m just so scared Laura” I said shaking my head and chuckling as a tear rolled down my face. Laura smiled at me sadly and hugged me again. “love you David” Laura said hugging me tightly. “Love you too Laura” I said hugging her just as tight. She made me feel like maybe things were going to be okay after all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Matteo**

 

 Why was he doing this? I didn’t get it. We were having such an amazing time and now...Was it something I did? Something I said. I stood outside of his house just crying and unable to move because of how much it hurt. David was the one person I felt like I could be myself around. Maybe that’s it...maybe me being me is the problem, I’m just a sad fucking piece of shit, who would fall in love with that?!? If someone could just tell me what to feel right now, what to do, that would be great. But I was all alone standing in front of David’s apartment building which looked like absolute crap. No David by my side, no anyone. I was all alone. I didn’t want to go home, it wasn’t even my real home. But I didn’t want to go to that home either there was enough crazy to handle in one day. Living with my mom would just complicate things even more. Hans and I weren’t really on good terms right now and... I didn’t really want to be home where everything reminded me of David. But I knew I had to go back home. Mia would probably be worried. Or maybe she wouldn’t care either. Would anyone really care if I weren’t here...weren’t alive...didn’t exist?

Luckily Hans and Mia were no longer up when I got home. I headed to my room, took off my shoes and went directly to my bed. I stayed there and eventually fell asleep. The next day I was in no mood to get up. Everything was awful. I felt betrayed, hurt, angry, sad. It was all too much. I just wanted it all to end. I wanted to just flip the switch and turn off my brain. Mia knocked on my door before entering. “Matteo I cooked Bacon and eggs, do you want some?” Mia asked. I didn’t want Bacon and eggs. I wanted to be alone. She left and finally left me to my thoughts. It was silent for a long time. Apparently I had been in here for two days already.  “Matteo we have to go to school” Mia said. I didn’t want to go. I wouldn’t be able to bear the pain of seeing David. I wouldn’t be able to look at Sara and watch her glare at me from miles away. I wasn’t going. I was staying here. I closed my eyes just in case she checked if I was sleeping. “Matteo you’re going to be late” Mia said. I didn’t want her in my room why couldn’t she understand that?!? After a while Mia left my room but I wasn’t alone for long since Hans went in shortly after Mia left. “Matteo what’s wrong are you sick?” Hans asked touching my forehead to check my temperature. I shook him off. I didn’t want him to touch me. “Matteo did something happen?” Hans asked me. I didn’t react. I just kept my eyes closed trying to drown out his voice. 

Suprisingly I fell asleep and only awoke once I heard a new voice. Hanna. “Matteo?” She asked. I didn’t give her an answer. Why didn’t they understand that I didn’t want company? Why didn’t they understand that I just wanted to be left alone? “Matteo you’ve been sleeping for a day now, won’t you at least eat something?” Hanna asked me. I didn’t want to eat anything. I didn’t have appetite. I wasn’t hungry. Hanna put something down on the floor, maybe a plate then left. I turned around and saw that she had made me a grilled cheese sandwich. And that just...hurt too much. It reminded me of the dark haired boy who had a sandwich fetish. I turned around again and closed my eyes once again. Luckily my room was silent for a while. Of course only if I ignored the ringing of my phone and buzzing that came from time to time, which was easy to do actually. I didn’t know how long I had been here. It didn’t matter, I wasn’t going to leave any time soon. I heard my door open again and a new voice was heard. Jonas. “Matteo what’s wrong buddy?” Jonas asked me. I gave no reaction whatsoever. “How long has he been like this?” Jonas asked. “Mia says he’s been like this since she checked on him on Saturday”Hanna said. “I’ll try and talk to him” Jonas said closing the door behind him. 

Jonas went as far as to sitting on my bed. “Come on Luigi what’s going on?” Jonas asked me “Are you upset because of your break up with Sara? Is it your mom?”. It wasn’t my mom and it definitely wasn’t cause of Sara. WHY COULDN’T HE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?!?!? WHY COULDN’T EVERYONE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?!?!? “Leave me alone” I groaned saying my first words in days. “Ah he speaks” Jonas said chuckling. Why couldn’t he understand that I wasn’t in a mood to joke around? “Jonas leave me alone” I said again. “Only if you finally eat something “I want to be alone right now” I said frowning. Jonas put a spoon in my hand.  “I’ve brought some soup, eat up and I’ll leave you alone” Jonas said. “I’m not hungry” I said frowning. “You haven’t eaten in days Matteo please don’t give me that I’m not hungry crap” Jonas said. I didn’t answer. Jonas sighed and put the soup on my nightbed. Then he finally left. I ate the soup realizing my appetite was slowly coming back to me. 


End file.
